The sex scenes are plentiful, averaging about one every 15 minutes during the two-hours-and-change runtime. Which begs the question: Why does Hollywood think Seattle's sexy? The Grade Seattle is the mere backdrop for lots of sex in a rich guy's penthouse. Blundstones and Doc Martens appear to never have been invented in this Seattle-and let's not even get into the lack of weather-appropriate outerwear or the fact that Ana appears to wear flats on an impromptu hike. Ana at one point wears a pussy bow dress, and not ironically.

Leaning hard into the erotic side of Fifty Shades, the filmmakers seem to have dressed practically every woman in pencil skirts and stilettos (Seattle sidewalks and hills be damned). The other half scurry about in hoodless trench coats. Or was it when Ana, flustered after her interview, walks out of Christian's office building into the Seattle rain? Half the people on the street rush by huddled under black umbrellas, nary an orange-and-white Amazon monstrosity to be found. Fifty Shades, for those who are at all invested in these characters' happiness and ability to copulate into the sunset, is the first in a trilogy and ends on a climax-killing cliffhanger. While Ana explores her newfound sexuality with BDSM, she falls in love with her billionaire dominant and seeks to find what's beneath his controlling exterior. And there's a heck of a lot of fornication. There's a playroom stocked with floggers, whips, and blindfolds.

He asks Ana to sign a nondisclosure agreement and then promptly reveals he's not looking for romance but instead wants a sexual dominant-submissive relationship. Then in the ultimate billionaire flex, Christian orchestrates several 'chance' encounters until their chemistry bubbles over. She's awkward he's inexplicably taken with the way she can chew a pencil eraser and bite her lower lip. English lit major Anastasia (Ana) Steele-filling in for her flu-ridden, journalism student, best-friend-slash-roommate Kate Kavanagh-interviews Christian Grey for the student paper.

50 shades of grey agreement